Stages of Life (with Regards to Relationships)

So, I have a friend (YES, I have a friend) who has a rather interesting outlook on the stages of relationship desires as it pertains to both men and women. I thought I might share them with everyone.

Age 18-22, you either want to play someone or be played. At this stage of life most people are just wanting to get some action and don't really care who it comes from or who they hurt to get it. A lot of times you will see the girls going for the bad boys and the men going for the skanky girls.

Age 23-26, that PERFECT somebody is so close! At this stage women know who Mr. PERFECT is and men know who Ms. PERFECT is; but neither of them know WHERE they are. A lot of times this can cause for the guy or girl to not really want to date anyone they see NOT as their PERFECT somebody.

Age 27-30, take whatever you can get. This is the time when you are starting to reach the top of the hill so whatever you can get is probably all you can get. So take whatever it is you can get.

Now these stages are rather controversial and based mainly on level of maturity. They are not all set in stone, you can fudge a year or two (it is said that men are to be given 2 years since they tend not to mature as fast) but there are VERY FEW exceptions.

Where do I land in this? I don't know.

I don't think any of these and this is why I see this model as somewhat controversial. What about the guy or girl who is just looking to find who they like, I'm not sure what I want in a man anymore but I know I'm not looking to be played and I know I don't have a Mr. PERFECT out there, but I'm not willing to take whatever I can get.

So where do I fall?

Applying Ancient Scripture to our Daily Life: Ammon, Rejoice but be not Boastful in your Gifts and Talents

So this week I decided to study in the book of Alma and once again found something that I think can be applied to our modern lives.

How many times have you been told to share your talents and gifts with others but sometimes you might feel that it's being egotistical or overly boastful of yourself. Well in Alma we find the same thing with the Sons of Mosiah.

A little background here, the Sons of Mosiah had gone out to preach the gospel to the Lamanites. Their mission lasted about 14 years and during that time they served mainly without each other for companions.

When reunited with his brothers after being apart for a time, Ammon began to rejoice in the fact that they had preached the gospel and been received tremendously by those they taught. He proclaimed his ecstacy of so many rejoicing and being brought back to the fold of God (Alma 26: 1-9)

After hearing the words spoken by Ammon his brother, Aaron, rebuked and chastized him for such boastings saying, "Ammon, I fear that thy joy doth carry thee away unto boasting." (Alma 26: 10)

Ammon told Aaron that he was not boasting in his strength, nor his wisdom, but rather his God. "Therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things." (Alma 26: 11-12)

A gift was given to Ammon and his brothers, they used this gift and shared the gospel with others. Ammon's joy was for being given the gift and not for how great a missionary he was without God.

Is it wrong to be grateful for the gifts given to us by the Lord? I beleive we need to share these gifts. If I have the gift of providing comfort to others would it not be wise to try and give comfort to all? Yes, tact does need to be used, but to not share and rejoice in our gifts is not desired by the Lord. Developing upon one gift can cause for our receiving and developing more gifts.

Honor for America: Losing Significance?

I was walking to my biology class this afternoon when I looked over to the administration building and noticed the American flag being flown at half-staff today. Whenever I see this I imediately think, "What day is it?" After that question is answered I start to wonder, what is significant about today to don this honor?

So, today is 16 October and as far as I am not sure what happened today to warrant a flag at half-staff. This is NOT to disrespect anyone, but I really don't know why. I know at times people will lower the flag in honor of fallen soldiers from their base or post but ASU, why did you lower the flag?

I would not ponder this question so much if I hadn't already seen the flag at half-staff 5 times already this year when I didn't know why. They did lower it on 11 September, but I know why they did that. Why the other days?

This question is only being posed because quite honestly I feel that if this honor is sometimes mis-understood. I just want to know why before it looses the significance and people no longer reflect on WHY the flag is not at full-staff.

What a week (and it's only Wednesday)

So wow! It's been one crazy roller-coaster of a week and yes, I know this is a little premature and it is only Wednesday, but seriously, it's been crazy!

I got to go to Six Flags, Magic Mountain, in California on Saturday to celebrate a friend's birthday (that post will come shortly on my other blog...) but what a weekend. We drove all night Friday to get there Saturday, spent the day in the park and yup, Saturday night we were driving home. We had a BLAST, well I did anyhow. But yeah, not a lot of sleep was had that weekend.

Emotions have been set lose this week as well as I've lost my best friend recently and hopefully some day he can forgive me. Ever since then it's been up and down and all around and CRAZY!

Missed a couple classes on Monday, little sleep Monday night, even less Tuesday night as I finished up some homework, woke up with 4 hours of sleep to meet a client and she never showed. Hung out all day with my aunt and cousins (I'm still hoping I don't get sick); went to play volleyball, I'm not feeling too good, I should really go see my doc and now I'm thinking about sleep at midnight... yeah, it might be a good idea.

Week isn't even over yet! I have work tomorrow, institute and meeting, Friday is training for volunteer work, Saturday I'm volunteering at a Health promotion event from 0630-1130, corn maze that night, bonfire and studying for a test I have on Monday. MAN! Yeah, it's going to be a LONG week!

Applying Ancient Scriptures to our Daily Life: Nephi, Setting the Standard for Receiving Answers

At Institute the other night our topic was on honesty and some how that got turned to Nephi and him being commanded to get the Brass Plates from Laban. If you don't know the story it goes a little something like this (short version of course).

Nephi's family had left Jerusalem and were many days travel away from there when he was asked to go with his 2 older brothers Laman and Lemuel as well as Samuel his younger brother back to Jerusalem and get the plates from Laban who was a wicked ruler of Jerusalem.

Nephi and his brothers tried first by asking, nicely, for the plates. Next they presented him with their families riches that were left when they had to flee Jerusalem. In both attempts Laban cast them out from before them and sent his guards after them.

It was at this point that Laman and Lemuel began to get extremely upset with Nephi and Samuel and began to beat them. At this time an angel appeared to Laman and Lemuel rebuking them and commanding them to go back to Jerusalem and that Laban would be given to them in a way that they would be able to get the plates from him.

Yet Laman and Lemuel did not want to and once again began to complain about how hard a task it might be. So, Nephi decided he would go by himself to receive the plates (who needs older brothers? KIDDING) telling them that when promised of the Lord he will provide a way.

Once again Nephi returned to the city of Jerusalem, this time alone, and before long he came upon a drunken Laban too far gone to even stand without assistance, but he was alone. Seeing this event and his sword by his side he was prompted to kill him by his own sword. He questioned that prompting never having been commanded to do something this intense before.

So that is the story, here are the thoughts I gained from this: Nephi did question the commandement, but does that mean it was a BAD thing to do? I think not for one of two reasons.

1-Nephi wanted to make sure this was a prompting of the Lord and not a prompting coming from Satan. Satan's powers are real and while the feeling we get can be different imagine how he would have felt later had he not ensured it was the right thing to do. Perhaps Satan would have come back to him later saying that he was unworthy of many things because he killed a man and the Lord never would have wanted that. He got the reassurance up front ensuring it was the right thing to do.

2-Nephi paved the way for the rest of us to know what we need to do to receive answers from the Lord. Nephi was given a commandment and while he knew that the Lord would provide a way, he did not know how that would come. When presented with a drunken Laban and prompted to kill him he probably felt that this was the answer to his prayers on HOW he would get the plates. He then asked for a confirmation from the Lord and after receiving his answer he then carried out the task.

Just like Nephi of old we are often faced with hard tasks that we know need to be overcome. We will ponder and meditate on different possibilities we can use to overcome our trials. When we have come to a decision about which way we see best to handle our situation we present that decision to the Lord, just as Nephi did before killing Laban. We then receive an answer and are expected to either act upon this decision or re-think the possibilities if we received a negative answer.

Done, Tired and Spent

Alright, so I've had it, I'm tired of school, done with stupid people and their lack of integrity and I've spent my last minute wasted on them!

I never thought I'd be saying this but I'm tired of school. I don't care anymore; my dream job is mine to have with or without this stupid degree, why waste the money when I don't need it???

I've got 87 days left before I fly out back to Germany, I want to go home, turn off the lights and not wake up until that day comes.

Setting the Standards for ASU Students

Last night was the first football game for ASU of the season and of course I had to make Steph experience it with me!!! After all, we did buy season tickets!!!



So in we went at about 6:30 and we sat on the upper most deck, it was fun, it was really breezy up there but in a good way because of the humidity. At 6:30 there was NOBODY there, by 7 the place was packed and people were standing in every nook and cranny they could find! That was slightly annoying when you were wanting to sit down but there were people standing that close to you.



So the game started a little late; about 15 mins, but as I stood there looking around this stadium that I hadn't seen for 3 years it amazed me; really it did. First of all, the stadium was EMPTY. What else is to be expected with ASU playing ISU? But what I was more amazed by is that Kush stadium STILL has the number 42 plastered on a banner in EVERY corner of the field. The number 42 was retired after Pat Tillman died while serving with the Army Rangers in Afghanistan.



**Unfortunately I didn't take a camera and I can't find pictures of it online**

So this got me to thinking, Tillman had a lot of values I respect; he was honest, he was sometimes blunt, I would say he was patriotic, courageous, sincere, hard working, respectful, loving and loyal. Can you imagine what would happen if ASU adopted these charecteristics as their own and tried to make ASU more like Pat. His number is the corner of the field. Why not make his personality and values the corner stone for ASU standards?


The time came for the national anthem to be played, I know I go to a liberal school, but the last time I checked it was still in the US. So why are we having people sitting throughout the anthem, talking and even screaming profanities. Towards the end of the song people started singing, but in a way that I found to still be disrespectful.

Alright, so I just moved from a military base where at the beginning of a movie you are to stand for the playing of the national anthem; maybe that's why I'm a bit biased and maybe that's why I'm expecting people to shut up, stand up and listen. You dont' have to put your hand on your heart, but whether you are from my country or not, be respectful nit-wits!


Can you imagine what would happen to ASU if they began taking the above characteristics serious. If they had a school FULL of Tillmans! Our school would NOT be the party school, school known for kids getting drunk the night before just to see if they can pass a test hung over. No longer known for our student body president being kicked out for making pornos and no longer being known for the most disrespectful fans.


Yes, there were some shadda calls made last night by the stripes, but does that still give you a right to start screaming profanities at the top of your lungs about what you want to do to that one ref? I don't think it does.


A group of students we were standing in front of were actually kind of cool they were all just laughing and what not, until the scandelous girls showed up and the first couple sentences out of their mouth included, when are we going to leave so I can get drunk? Or I want a shot!!! Seriously guys? why come to the game then? Sit at home and watch it, drink yourself silly, gain that beer belly, get alcohol poisoning and if we're lucky, get caught for underage drinking!!!


The game was good, Sparky had a LOT of pushups to do last night as we beat ISU 50-3. Congrats to us, we beat a not even ranked school that is nowhere near being in our conference. But, if we play like we did last night against our conference teams we will get beat! PUMMELED!!


Our QB was running around with nowhere to go, maybe the Oline's fault, but be smart with the ball, know when you need to throw it away!


We had one receiver who was dropping passes left and right, WILLIAMS! That cannot happen, against better schools they will exploit that, pick on you and cause turn overs.


But it was a good first game, boring at times but still good. After each TD or FG Sparky got up on his board and crank out pushups. Poor Sparky! You need to do it like the students do in the stands; grab a girl and throw her in the air the number of times representing the score. Until the cop comes up screaming PUT THE GIRL DOWN! Oh what a line for the night!


So yes, it was a good game, sure do wish I could fix the problems of ASU but I can't, that's up to Crow!!


I probably will be going to a lot more games this year after buying the season tickets I will get my moneys worth, Steph and I are going to pretty much camp out for the UofA game to make sure we get down near the 30 yard line and right on the front.


Oh yeah, ASU has these two guys who go to every game, they are maroon and gold man, dress in maroon and gold spandex, can't see their faces, well, Steph and I decided they look lonely and need some women in their lives... now we just have to figure out HOW to do it ;)

Gamer, finally a movie that is real to our lives today

So I feel compelled to comment on this new release movie I just heard about, "Gamer". The movie stars Gerard Butler, Ludacris and Michael Hall.

This movie is set in the future and from what I can read up on it is about obviously a gaming system that puts human on human playing to another level. The thing that is relevant I think is that much like the ways of today and entertainment at our finger tips it IS controlling; so how fitting is it that in this movie once you begin playing you are not allowed to leave until you essentially BEAT the game...

The game is addicting, you enjoy the game again until they rope you in so that you can't leave.

SERIOUSLY??? Has there ever been a more desperate cry for help when it comes to how much we can no longer find suitable forms of entertainment outside of gaming? How much we've allowed society to deem it OK when we come across 'gamers' who essentially live their life through games whether on the computer or through gaming consoles; either of which can access the internet allowing them to converse with others hundreds of miles away. Is it any wonder why the children of today are obese or are unable to socialize in a respectable manner?

Entertainment, slowly but surely taking over our lives and our ability to live as HUMANE humans, instead of hethans...

You may think you ain't country...

Alright, so, I joined my sister on Monday night for a little FHE at Tempe which included free pizza... FREE FOOD? What? I'm there!

Well, oops, it was also a dance thingy; whatever. So here's my thing with Arizona and mainly East valley girls and guys. The little time I've spent around them, so many of them hate claiming their country roots. Oh no, they want to be urbanized and they want to reject the country music for Lil' Wayne (who by the way is ugly, have you ever seen him?) or some other Hip Hop/RnB artist... seriously guys???

Let me tell you why I have a problem with this... Why is it then that I went to this dance on Monday night to hear them playing country music galore... Ok, so it was a church dance, little music outside of country has a harmony that is within church standards for dance. But please believe for EVERY song that was played (other than slow songs) I saw EVERYONE on the dance floor doing a line dance for it... And you think you ain't country!
At first I was thinking, oh wow, are they doing the electric slide to a country song? No, they weren't, it was heel toe, dosey doe, c'mon baby let's go, kinda stuff. hop hop hop backwards, kick kick kick kick kick and turn. Clap step two three, clap step two three; shuffle forward with the hand doing a roping movement... WHAT?

I was baffled. So go ahead, tell me, Gilbert, Mesa, Tempe, Chandler girls, that you ain't country; I'll play a song and if you can do the line dance to it, I don't want to hear that you ain't! Embrace it, there is nothing wrong with it.

That's right, I've got my country roots too, but I can't do any other line dances out of the Cha-cha slide and the Electric...

Updating the life and times of Sara

So it's been a long time since I've blogged and yes for the few people who actually follow my travel blog and this one I know it's been forever and I am still trying to get my travel blog up to date. I'm still trying to catch my breath from this summer as well as hit the ground running with school.

So let's see, real quick things that have been going on, I finally left Germany (the place I called home for three long years) and returned to America! When I first got here I flew straight into Las Vegas spent a few weeks there, went and got my car, chilled in California for a while and just relaxed. I needed a break before starting school and boy did I enjoy it.

I was still getting used to American driving when I got Thailer back and still find it crazy the way we all drive here... what I find more crazy is that if I go the recognized speed limit for any SMALL autobahn I am speeding by 15 MPH! CA-WAZY!

I started classes last week and needless to say I cannot wait for it to be over for a variety of different reasons. I want to be done. I want to move on with my life, I want to begin working with my degree HOPEFULLY as I am dreaming of it all working, mostly I want to see if there is anyway I can start working with the military again; that would be the life!

Classes are not as hard as I was imagining them to be but I am finding I need to be slightly more organized; I've been running around like crazy this past week trying to get a ton of things figured out, getting Steph ready and have completely forgotten about getting organized.

Yeah, it's been a doosie! But I'm still standing and that much closer to finishing!

Reunited Love

So, I have him back, finally, I love my car, that's all I can say.

Thursday I went to California to pick up my car, got there around 1030ish and was expecting to show all sorts of ID in order to get my car, you know, first ID, then license, then POA maybe even a blood test, I dunno but it wasn't like that at all.

So I get there, directions were a little weird, the company gave me the address to the berth but we couldn't just drive into the port, so I had to call the company find out where they were, drive there, grab some paperwork, fax it, walk back to the port, sign one document, get in my car and drive off, easy peasy! I was shocked!!!

But my car is in great condition, I'm taking it today to go get some much needed TLC so he can be in tip-top shape!

Hopefully it won't take all day!

Nightmare of a Flight to the US

So I know I've been in Vegas for more than a week now, but whatever, I'll start blogging more, I promise...

So let's start with my flight, specifically from FRA to ORD; I only slept 2 HOURS!!!! I was so mad, I fell asleep before the plane even took off, I woke up not sure where we were or how much longer, but they showed the map thingy and it said, "time since departure: 2:34" I was NOT HAPPY!!! I had 6 hours to go!!!

So I started flipping through the movie channels and radio stations, I ended up falling asleep on my tray table and man I woke up in some hurting!!

So about midway over the Atlantic, we hit some pretty crazy turbulence, we had head wind like nothing else. So it doesn't make me feel good to hear, "flight attendants pleas take your seats..." about 5 times... NO WAY! I seriously thought I was going to die... Ok, maybe not, but still.

Sad thing is, that wasn't the worst of it.

So we got to O'hare alright, grabbed my bags, rechecked them, and started looking for the USO, I was doing alright. I hopped on an elevator and took it back up to the main level, doors opened and walah, there is the USO on it's own level.... now, how do I get there....
So I hung out at the USO for a while but finally had to leave to go make my connection, I figured O'hare is notorious for being slammed with people so I might want to make it through a little early.

So I get up there and realize that O'hare is the same airport I flew through last time I went to the good ole US of A. But here comes the worst part of my story...

So I get up to the gate, it's about 1345 and we are to board at 1425, I notice that there is no plane outside; eh, I figured it is just taxiing in and we'll be good to go... about 1410 comes around, still no plane. Tell me why the counter guy comes on the PA and says, no joke: Sorry for the delay folks, but as you can see our plane is not yet here, it is in the hangar being worked on for mechanical issues. (Sara starts worrying) We're not sure how much longer it should take but be patient with us and we should have an update for you in about 15 mins. But since it's coming from the hangar we'll be able to get right on it and not have to worry about cleaning and people exiting as it will be empty."

Ok, so hello, don't tell me the plane you are going to be sending me on is being worked on for mechanical issues 15 mins before I'm supposed to get on it!!!

20 (1430) mins later, "eh, sorry folks, they are still working on it and it looks to be about 30 mins before we can have it finished. If you would like to go on a walk-about before the plane gets here feel free, just check the flight monitors for updates."

So that was funny because everyone then is like, forget this, I'm going to go get food, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Over the PA we hear not two seconds after that one was made "And just like that folks it looks like they've fixed the problem, but it will still take them about 15 mins to taxi the bird over here, so if you still need to go on a walk-about feel free, just please be back here as we are looking at a 1500 departure." (HAHA, what are you kidding me? 1500? I don't think so!)

So we wait... and wait... finally our bird shows up at 1500, but I thought we were supposed to leave at 1500... Oh well... So the flight crew boards and we are told we'll be boarding any moment, the flight crew just needs to do safety checks, finally about 1520 we get the OK to start boarding. I have NEVER been on a flight where they board FRONT to BACK! because it's dumb! So about 40 mins later I finally get to board, I'm on the back of the plane and it takes me about 10 mins to get on just because we're having to push through people who have already boarded! DUMB

so here comes the good part, it's about 1600, we were supposed to leave at 1456 and actually arrive early. Now we are leaving about the time we should be landing, ok, not really, but still. So we're all chillin on the plane, listening to the safety instructions and no joke, over the intercom... "Sorry for the delay folks but it looks like we're going to have another one. They are finishing up some paperwork and we cannot shove off until that is done. I've been told it will be about 30 mins; so you are free to leave the plane, but I'm being told that if you do we want you to take all of your items, because if we get a quick go ahead we are going to be closing the door and leaving. Again sorry for the delay but (begin chessiness) Safety is always number one with United!"

So we chill, hang out on the plane, and finally we get the "Ok" to take off, about 1620 local time now. We sit at the gate for another 20 mins it seems just waiting for whatever reason... Take off was finally at 1640; nearly two hours behind schedule.

I didn't call them to let them know I was going to be late, I figured they'd check, which they did, but when they checked it showed a 30 min delay, so they showed up at 1730 Vegas time (originally I was to land at 1645) and realized I was not going to be there for another 45 mins. So they hung out I guess. When we landed because I was at the back I got off at the end, ran to the bathroom, I hate plane lavatories, then hopped on the sky line. FYI, in Vegas when they say NEXT stop from Concourse D to Terminal 1, there is ONLY one stop!!!! So I stayed on at Terminal 1 because I thought for sure they'd announce if that was the baggage claim, oh no! so ooops, it only took me about 45 mins after landing to get to baggage claim and they were freaking out, like how do we know if someone got on the plane??? I guess someone told them to file a police report hahahahah! But I made it, it was nice just grabbing my bags from the conveyer belt and walking out, it was about 110, me in jeans, carrying a hoody and wearing flip flops, oh yeah, you could tell I was from Germany.

So that was my flight, quite entertaining wasn't it? Oh yeah....

What a Fourth

Alright, so I spent the Fourth of July with lots of people that mean a lot to me, my family, for the most part and of course Barney.

It started off bad, I woke up with bad allergies and a sore throat; I had wanted to get a jump start on organizing my house to get moved out but with all that sickness I ended up popping some allergy meds and sleeping a lot of the day away. I was determined, however, to make it to the festivities in order to see Blue October, only one of the best bands ever, perform live on base.

So we showed up at about 1800, hung around eating delicious food, setting up chairs for the fireworks and enjoying ourselves. Blue October was amazing and I'm an even bigger fan now.

This was the first year in about 5 years I've seen fireworks and boy were they good!

At the end of the night I went home a happy woman; satisfied from the great company, good music and amazing pyrotechnics.

Sunday Ramblings of Saturday Adventures

Ok, so really I should be planning my lesson, but I can't stop thinking about my wonderful Saturday!

It started off with waking up at 0800, ON A SATURDAY!, for breakfast with the girls from the office and a couple munchkins. We went to this fantastic cafe in Landstuhl called Sander's that has some really good breakfast! We sat and chatted until almost noon about whatever! Office, life, love, you name it!

From there I had to run to the commissary to get some food for a surprise picnic I was planning (it almost didn't happen). Luckily for everyone the picnic did happen for a short amount of time. We knew that rain was in the forecast yet we decided to give it a try. We headed to a park in Kaiserslautern, laid out our blanket, got the food out, ate our sandwiches, laughed, giggled, had a good time and just when we were getting ready to relax a little ways out we could see parents running with their kids in tow.

RAIN had made it's appearance FAST! This wasn't like a light trickle and then hard, oh no, it was HARD then faster and harder! We thought it'd pass us shortly if we just were patient so we hid the goodies and laid there, within a couple minutes we decided we'd just move it inside. By the time we got to our car we were soaked! When we got back to the house however we realized it was a good decision on our part. Not a minute after walking in the door we saw lightning with thunder right on top of it!

Now, in all my years of being in Germany I had never seen lightning; but the day I plan a picnic it shows up??? How wrong is that?

So inside we went to finish eating and to play some checkers. Yes, I lost :( HORRIBLY the first round. Second round I made one mistake that took me out of it. I will seek my revenge.

After checkers it was off for dinner, Chinese anyone? So much for chicken chili! We were too tired to even try and claim that feat.

What a day! I think it was the best Saturday I have had in Germany! Not much more time now though, 18 more days!

Productive Week

OY! What a week! I don't know if I should sigh of relief that it's over; scream of excitement; or pray that it never happens again.

So what happened... hmmm...

Didn't really want to go back to work after a week in Edelweiss (I am still working on that post... don't worry) but then I got to work and had to play catch up for hundreds of emails that I missed; oh yeah, that made me LOVE being at work! Haha, nah, not really! But I did get asked to once again go sit in the front for the big wig guy.

I knew that this week I was going to have to accomplish a LOT of things. I had shipped my car off the previous week but was still in search of a place to live and a job. Before I knew it I had the place, a nice little condo with a great rate for rent and location! 2.5 miles from Polytech! Yeah, I'm feeling good about that one.

So the only thing to worry about was the job. So I did what I usually do, hop on jobsearch.com and try to look for openings in the valley. Yeah, there are a lot that I qualify for, but none willing to do part-time. So I let it go for a couple days. Finally I decided I'd check ASU's webpage for jobs and lo-and-behold a receptionist job for one of the advising offices ON POLYTECH!

Holy camoly! That would be the dream right there; awesome place to live and job on campus doing what I've been doing for the past 3 years! Could a girl ask for more?

So now I sit here having yet to hear back from them and pray that it's not a bad sign. I won't be in the valley until August so I am really hoping they'd be willing to wait that long for me. It is end of June right now and I can do an interview via telephone and I could do paperwork via email... RIGHT?

Yeah, I'm doing more looking to see if there is anything else out there for me. But it's been a good week.

How many more days? Oh, that's right, 26 before I fly out :)

10 Things I May Never Have

-Temple Marriage
-Understanding of why I have to answer to certain people
-Children of my own
-Clean bill of health
-The ability to please everyone
-A six pack of abs
-The chance to do something amazing with my life
-The time to forget about everything else and just enjoy life
-My own family sealed to me
-Humility

Lost Love

Today I went through something rather hard. I lost a long time love of mine. You see, we met rather by chance; introduction from my father to be honest with you. When I first saw him I knew I wanted him and thought how amazing he looked.

But today I had to finally say goodbye to Thailur (Tyler). He had been so amazing for the past 2.5 years and while I know that someday I will meet up with him again I cannot wait until that happens.

Thailur went with me everywhere. We were travel buddies, we hung out probably every day without missing more than a week. So yes, it was a hard moment for me to part with him, but I did.So there is my beautiful baby!! Ok, so not mine, but that's what he looks like. Isn't he gorgeous? I'll be with him again about the end of July; but until then it's hard finding a replacement for the void now present in my life.

HAHA ;)

No need to Worry

Alright, so I know in some of my past blogs I may have said some things that make people overly worried about me; but I can assure you there is nothing to be overly concerned about right now.

Yeah, things aren't peachy keen right now, but I have a few things to look forward to. Going to Edelweiss tomorrow with the family. I just got back from London and had so much fun I'm wanting to go back again for another couple of days. I have the time and the means to do so, why not?

I've got only 5 weeks until my last day of work and then only another week until I fly out. I can't believe it's so close.

I dropped off my car yesterday to be cleaned and shipped. I can't believe we're so close. I've got so much to look forward to, hopefully this summer will be a good way to start the next time of my life off; it's been a rough past few months and I'm ready to foget about it... at least until I have to do some follow up work on it.

Picture for Title of Blog

To view the story of the picture at the top of my blog page please visit my traveling blog at www.scuraray.blogspot.com

You can't even Imagine...

So I've written this blog and rewritten this blog for about the past month. They say writing is theraputical and well, right now, I need it.

I have so much going on right now it's crazy, I can't even fathom it at times. I've been stuck thinking about selfish tendencies for a while, that this is what this blog is about.

Imagine if you could that you have the ability to be happy with a job, you make good money, you are supported in your life; you are happy.

Now, you happened to come into a HUGE bonus that you were not expecting to get and you knew of someone who needed or could use that money more than you. You want to help them and see that you don't need the money right now, so you give it to them; then you loose your job and your ability to make money.

Selfish feelings come back to ask for all of that money back, you just want what is 'rightfully' yours, since you no longer have the ability to do that any more you should be allowed to ask for it back right?

But this person you gave it to has already used the majority of the money, they have started to essentially grow because of it; it would be wrong to ask for it back. But you still have a little time before it will disappear from you completely. What do you do?

Again, you've lost the ability to make money and some day you may not be able to even make that money you once did to support your family or to live comfortably. What do you do?

If you can imagine what that is like and then multiply it by 20, that's where I'm at; yeah, I need some serious therapy.

Innactively Active

So, in the matter of one hour at church today I happened to be invited to Young Single Activities, not once, but TWICE!!!! By TWO DIFFERENT people.

Uh, are you serious? I guess they were. I told them I'm crazy busy and my schedule is just not permitting it to which one of them told me that I needed to become less busy and just get out there.

Wow, honestly? Yeah, I guess going to church and doing your church calling is not enough. Now you need to be at every extra meeting and activity.

Therefore I've deemed myself Innactively Active. I go to church, do my calling, but right now that's all I can handle. I hope to someday be more than just that.

Looks to Kill

Someone told me the other day that I looked like I was going to kill someone. It is true, the look on my face was that of a contemplative Sara that sometimes turns into an intimidating look on the face; which always turns into questions.

Sara, what’s wrong? Nada, well actually ‘Lada’, but that’s for my mind to ponder on.

Sara, why won’t you tell me? Again, personal. I tell some people, but in all reality I’m sure a lot of people would have NO IDEA what to say if I divulged my secrets to them. Jaws would drop and hit the floor and amazement would be plastered on their eyes.

Sara, are you ok? Hey, I’m living, working, breathing and smiling (sometimes ;)) what more do you want?

Sara, will you be ok? Who knows. I don’t, do you? I guess not.

Life sucks, you think you are doing something worth while and good for others one day and then you find something else out that makes those deeds harder to bear and you wish you hadn’t done it. Like all you want to do is take it back, say, ‘just kidding!’ but you know you can’t.

Life, it's ironic, isn’t it?

What a WEEK!

I'm so glad it's over, but when I look back at it I can't believe I lived to see the end of it.

This week had a lot of things go on for me, lifeguard class, lifeguard final, doctor appointments, sitting in for another secretary, working on scholarships and figuring out more for school.

So lets start from the top: Lifeguarding class/final. Steph and I have been taking this course to get certified. I have no desire to work here but she's been contemplating it. So we have had class 5 times in the past 2 weeks starting at 1600 and going until 2200 (4-10 PM for you non military/european folk). It's been quite the experience. Late nights, swimming, chlorine, yummy!! So the day came time for us to test and I will tell you one thing, I was actually a little nervous the night before. We got there and I'll tell you what, it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. We were all nervous to find out if we passed or not but the important thing is Steph and I passed!!!!! So there you have it, if you ever have someone drowning, or needing first aid, Steph and I are signed off :)

My next certification I think is going to be to get WSI (Water Safety Instructor) qualified. That will mean that I can teach swim lessons. Wouldn't that be a fun easy job in AZ? I think so, go to people's personal pools and teach their kids how to swim, easy peasy!!!

Doctor Appointments. So a few posts ago I blogged about how I hated doctors who seemed to want to ruin your day and to do nothing more than to deliver bad news, yes I had them do that.

I went in for my follow up to make sure it was what they thought it was and it is. No, not ready to talk about it; maybe later. Docs swear it won't do much to alter my life but there is still that chance. Some of my family worry that I think it's the Lord punishing me for not being humble; yeah, at times I do. Other parts of my family fear that I will start being angry at people who have what I don't or might ever have. Perhaps I have felt that in the past and maybe it's to come; another thing I have to work on I suppose.

Where I work are 3 different branches. We are all one directorate but made up of 3 relatively large branches. We only have 3 secretaries when we should have four. We should have one for each branch and then a fourth for the big boss. When the big boss' sec doesn't show up it gets tasked to another secretary who happens to be there; that just so happened to be me yesterday. I was really nervous about it and quite frankly a little stressed. I had a ton of things I was supposed to be doing and had to get done and frankly I didn't want to jack anything up. I'm happy to report I did Ok, though I think the third in command down there was lying to me when he said that.

Now the fun part, school. I've been working on some scholarships to get money so I won't have to pay a dime for school. Good thing I've been doing that though, good ole economy failing and with President Crow in charge of ASU I'm getting jipped out of grant money. The money I got in grants won't even cover half of my tuition expenses. EXCUSE ME?????That's great. Good thing I've been saving all my hard earned cash huh? If you ask me the FAFSA system is flawed. I'm 21 years old and I do NOT get claimed by my parents on their taxes but because I still COULD be claimed I have to add into account my parents taxes which mean that my Estimated Family Contribution is $10,000 MORE than what they will be contributing. No, my family does NOT leave me high and dry, but I dont' want to go to them to get money to pay for a piece of paper that the American Society has deemed appropriate if you want to be able to make ends meet comfortably.

So there you have it, there's been my week. One heck of an emotional roller coaster. Ups with passing the course, downs with doctors and twist and turns with college and work. Poke me to make certain I'm alive would you?

Bowling, a Brother and the Bunny

Spring break!!!! Who doesn't like Spring Break? I like it, and I'm not even in school to enjoy it right now. I just like having the ability to go and do fun things when or if we want to. School holds us all back. So this year we hung around Kaiserslautern and did some fun things, the first of which was bowling.
Grandmother getting ready, yeah, she's about to whoop up on someone. This is Mo and I setting up our teams. Boys vs. Girls!!! Girls so totally kicked the boys' trash! Grandma, Mom and myself against Mo, Simeon and Alex and we still beat 'em!
Simeon was using the heaviest ball or us all... yes, we all used bumpers; no other way to play honestly.Look at that form. Dad would be so proud!Like mother, like daughter.Sim picks up a spare.I'm pretty sure Mo missed this one, but I can't remember. I only say that cuz I beat him anyhow!Grandma, lining up to pick up the spare.Sweet Alex, aka Queen Ally that day, bowling the 'grown up way'. Mom going for the spare.I love the way grandmother keeps her eye on the ball.Mom missed the spare, but it's ok, we still beat the boys!Alex showing off his Pink ball... yeah, he likes Pink; it's ok...Look at that face, she's so happy it's Spring Break too!
And Steph, goof ball played photographer instead of bowling.

At the end of Spring Break we were lucky enough to have the oldest Ray child and the recently married Ray child, Cody, come to visit us. He got stationed down in Stuttgart so a hop-skip-and jump is all it is up to see us.
Affectionately named Do-do he likes to be petted like a dog. Yeah, he's a goof too.
We all woke up actually kind of late for a holiday morning and looked for Easter eggs, or rather the little boys did. Can you imagine what these four are looking at???
How about a gi-gantic basket of candy that the easter bunny left for us? Yeah, we'll all be needing trips to the dentist soon.
When it was time to start the egg hunt Cody helped Simeon up off the couch with a nice little shove. Thanks Big Brother Dodo!After seeing that Alex decided to get up on his own. LET THE HUNT BEGIN!!!!
Alex was a good little egg hunter finding a lot of his eggs fast.
Sim was not far behind him, but he did tend to find the harder eggs.
Alex got the most excited though and thought he was cool as all heck.Mom had to get involved a couple times and help the short ones from breaking anything. Cody had to entertain the dog so she wouldn't think the eggs as balls and start playing with them. After being around Cody thoughShe started rubbing on the floor and scratching herself. I think she was trying to get rid of the fleas Cody might have given her. Along with tons of Candy stuffed animals are tradition in our house for Easter. They are always fun and so cute!!!Yep, the chick is mine... duh! Us chicks gotta stick together.
An egg hidden in the jungle forest... ok, so it's only a house plant but it was the LAST one to be found. These are some of our decorated eggs. Yep, Easter sure is a fun holiday at the Ray house!

Doctors that love to deliver bad news

Have you ever had a doctor call you up at your house or office and go, hey, this is Dr Iwannaruinyourday from the clinic. I just wanted to let you know that some of your tests came back a little abnormal and we want to run some tests on you. So not really knowing what this might mean you go ok. Sure, where, when etc? Then you get smart and ask, ok, so I don't understand, if the tests came back abnormal what does this mean for me and they drop a big word, that nobody ever wants to hear I'm sure, followed by, "but don't worry, I'm sure it's nothing."

NO, if it was nothing you wouldn't have called me! So here you are on pins and needles waiting for an appointment with the clinic to do some tests and then wait another week or so to find out what is going on. So if I seem a little on edge, I'm sorry!

Fortune cookies always have a fortune; some good, some bad, some GREAT!

So I recently wrote about possibly going to ROTC for the Army and joining in as a Capt. My dreams about that have been semi-crushed when I was told because of my asthma I can't join :( Are you serious? My asthma is able to be controlled and I've NEVER had a MAJOR issue with it. So I'm an EFMP that has to get special permission everytime we move; but it's never caused me a huge deal of heart ache.
That is a lie Uncle Sam, you don't want me! :'( My lungs aren't strong enough for you I guess. Oh well, plan B, become a federal civilian get paid just as well, if not better and hopefully reap all the same benefits too. :)

Other good news I recently got my cap and gown in the mail which makes it official that I've gotten my AA but the good news is I went and got pictures taken with my good friend Leslie, an amazing photographer. We spent the whole day together and really had fun, Steph and I showed her some tricks on photoshop, mainly Steph but I'm convinced enough to get photoshop for my computer... AFTER I buy a Mac.
That's right, I don't wear my hat straight... so what? First ones are obviously just pictures of me in the cap and gown. I really don't like cap and gowns. They make you look weird and the hat NEVER fits right.

These next ones are of Steph and I being dorks like we are... having fun with the thought of us both being Devils this fall. I think it's my posture, I'll have to work on that, but man I look like I have a little bit of weight on me huh? Ah, good ole Crazy hair! but there you have it, the newest German Devils that are going to take ASU by storm!

So I told you I had bad, good and great news, well you've heard the bad and the good, are you ready for the GREAT?
As of last week I am now a certified personal trainer by AFAA, Aerobics and Fitness Association of America. That means I can pretty much start up my own business if I so desired, but I do not so desire. I just want to be able to put it on my resume in hopes of maybe starting at a gym and working my way up to being a personal trainer. Sure would help with the schooling huh?

Alright, so some of my plans aren't hatching out as I wish they would, but all in all this past week was amazing with my trip to Denmark included.

It sure is good to be a gypsy college kid!