Looks to Kill

Someone told me the other day that I looked like I was going to kill someone. It is true, the look on my face was that of a contemplative Sara that sometimes turns into an intimidating look on the face; which always turns into questions.

Sara, what’s wrong? Nada, well actually ‘Lada’, but that’s for my mind to ponder on.

Sara, why won’t you tell me? Again, personal. I tell some people, but in all reality I’m sure a lot of people would have NO IDEA what to say if I divulged my secrets to them. Jaws would drop and hit the floor and amazement would be plastered on their eyes.

Sara, are you ok? Hey, I’m living, working, breathing and smiling (sometimes ;)) what more do you want?

Sara, will you be ok? Who knows. I don’t, do you? I guess not.

Life sucks, you think you are doing something worth while and good for others one day and then you find something else out that makes those deeds harder to bear and you wish you hadn’t done it. Like all you want to do is take it back, say, ‘just kidding!’ but you know you can’t.

Life, it's ironic, isn’t it?

What a WEEK!

I'm so glad it's over, but when I look back at it I can't believe I lived to see the end of it.

This week had a lot of things go on for me, lifeguard class, lifeguard final, doctor appointments, sitting in for another secretary, working on scholarships and figuring out more for school.

So lets start from the top: Lifeguarding class/final. Steph and I have been taking this course to get certified. I have no desire to work here but she's been contemplating it. So we have had class 5 times in the past 2 weeks starting at 1600 and going until 2200 (4-10 PM for you non military/european folk). It's been quite the experience. Late nights, swimming, chlorine, yummy!! So the day came time for us to test and I will tell you one thing, I was actually a little nervous the night before. We got there and I'll tell you what, it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. We were all nervous to find out if we passed or not but the important thing is Steph and I passed!!!!! So there you have it, if you ever have someone drowning, or needing first aid, Steph and I are signed off :)

My next certification I think is going to be to get WSI (Water Safety Instructor) qualified. That will mean that I can teach swim lessons. Wouldn't that be a fun easy job in AZ? I think so, go to people's personal pools and teach their kids how to swim, easy peasy!!!

Doctor Appointments. So a few posts ago I blogged about how I hated doctors who seemed to want to ruin your day and to do nothing more than to deliver bad news, yes I had them do that.

I went in for my follow up to make sure it was what they thought it was and it is. No, not ready to talk about it; maybe later. Docs swear it won't do much to alter my life but there is still that chance. Some of my family worry that I think it's the Lord punishing me for not being humble; yeah, at times I do. Other parts of my family fear that I will start being angry at people who have what I don't or might ever have. Perhaps I have felt that in the past and maybe it's to come; another thing I have to work on I suppose.

Where I work are 3 different branches. We are all one directorate but made up of 3 relatively large branches. We only have 3 secretaries when we should have four. We should have one for each branch and then a fourth for the big boss. When the big boss' sec doesn't show up it gets tasked to another secretary who happens to be there; that just so happened to be me yesterday. I was really nervous about it and quite frankly a little stressed. I had a ton of things I was supposed to be doing and had to get done and frankly I didn't want to jack anything up. I'm happy to report I did Ok, though I think the third in command down there was lying to me when he said that.

Now the fun part, school. I've been working on some scholarships to get money so I won't have to pay a dime for school. Good thing I've been doing that though, good ole economy failing and with President Crow in charge of ASU I'm getting jipped out of grant money. The money I got in grants won't even cover half of my tuition expenses. EXCUSE ME?????That's great. Good thing I've been saving all my hard earned cash huh? If you ask me the FAFSA system is flawed. I'm 21 years old and I do NOT get claimed by my parents on their taxes but because I still COULD be claimed I have to add into account my parents taxes which mean that my Estimated Family Contribution is $10,000 MORE than what they will be contributing. No, my family does NOT leave me high and dry, but I dont' want to go to them to get money to pay for a piece of paper that the American Society has deemed appropriate if you want to be able to make ends meet comfortably.

So there you have it, there's been my week. One heck of an emotional roller coaster. Ups with passing the course, downs with doctors and twist and turns with college and work. Poke me to make certain I'm alive would you?

Bowling, a Brother and the Bunny

Spring break!!!! Who doesn't like Spring Break? I like it, and I'm not even in school to enjoy it right now. I just like having the ability to go and do fun things when or if we want to. School holds us all back. So this year we hung around Kaiserslautern and did some fun things, the first of which was bowling.
Grandmother getting ready, yeah, she's about to whoop up on someone. This is Mo and I setting up our teams. Boys vs. Girls!!! Girls so totally kicked the boys' trash! Grandma, Mom and myself against Mo, Simeon and Alex and we still beat 'em!
Simeon was using the heaviest ball or us all... yes, we all used bumpers; no other way to play honestly.Look at that form. Dad would be so proud!Like mother, like daughter.Sim picks up a spare.I'm pretty sure Mo missed this one, but I can't remember. I only say that cuz I beat him anyhow!Grandma, lining up to pick up the spare.Sweet Alex, aka Queen Ally that day, bowling the 'grown up way'. Mom going for the spare.I love the way grandmother keeps her eye on the ball.Mom missed the spare, but it's ok, we still beat the boys!Alex showing off his Pink ball... yeah, he likes Pink; it's ok...Look at that face, she's so happy it's Spring Break too!
And Steph, goof ball played photographer instead of bowling.

At the end of Spring Break we were lucky enough to have the oldest Ray child and the recently married Ray child, Cody, come to visit us. He got stationed down in Stuttgart so a hop-skip-and jump is all it is up to see us.
Affectionately named Do-do he likes to be petted like a dog. Yeah, he's a goof too.
We all woke up actually kind of late for a holiday morning and looked for Easter eggs, or rather the little boys did. Can you imagine what these four are looking at???
How about a gi-gantic basket of candy that the easter bunny left for us? Yeah, we'll all be needing trips to the dentist soon.
When it was time to start the egg hunt Cody helped Simeon up off the couch with a nice little shove. Thanks Big Brother Dodo!After seeing that Alex decided to get up on his own. LET THE HUNT BEGIN!!!!
Alex was a good little egg hunter finding a lot of his eggs fast.
Sim was not far behind him, but he did tend to find the harder eggs.
Alex got the most excited though and thought he was cool as all heck.Mom had to get involved a couple times and help the short ones from breaking anything. Cody had to entertain the dog so she wouldn't think the eggs as balls and start playing with them. After being around Cody thoughShe started rubbing on the floor and scratching herself. I think she was trying to get rid of the fleas Cody might have given her. Along with tons of Candy stuffed animals are tradition in our house for Easter. They are always fun and so cute!!!Yep, the chick is mine... duh! Us chicks gotta stick together.
An egg hidden in the jungle forest... ok, so it's only a house plant but it was the LAST one to be found. These are some of our decorated eggs. Yep, Easter sure is a fun holiday at the Ray house!

Doctors that love to deliver bad news

Have you ever had a doctor call you up at your house or office and go, hey, this is Dr Iwannaruinyourday from the clinic. I just wanted to let you know that some of your tests came back a little abnormal and we want to run some tests on you. So not really knowing what this might mean you go ok. Sure, where, when etc? Then you get smart and ask, ok, so I don't understand, if the tests came back abnormal what does this mean for me and they drop a big word, that nobody ever wants to hear I'm sure, followed by, "but don't worry, I'm sure it's nothing."

NO, if it was nothing you wouldn't have called me! So here you are on pins and needles waiting for an appointment with the clinic to do some tests and then wait another week or so to find out what is going on. So if I seem a little on edge, I'm sorry!

Fortune cookies always have a fortune; some good, some bad, some GREAT!

So I recently wrote about possibly going to ROTC for the Army and joining in as a Capt. My dreams about that have been semi-crushed when I was told because of my asthma I can't join :( Are you serious? My asthma is able to be controlled and I've NEVER had a MAJOR issue with it. So I'm an EFMP that has to get special permission everytime we move; but it's never caused me a huge deal of heart ache.
That is a lie Uncle Sam, you don't want me! :'( My lungs aren't strong enough for you I guess. Oh well, plan B, become a federal civilian get paid just as well, if not better and hopefully reap all the same benefits too. :)

Other good news I recently got my cap and gown in the mail which makes it official that I've gotten my AA but the good news is I went and got pictures taken with my good friend Leslie, an amazing photographer. We spent the whole day together and really had fun, Steph and I showed her some tricks on photoshop, mainly Steph but I'm convinced enough to get photoshop for my computer... AFTER I buy a Mac.
That's right, I don't wear my hat straight... so what? First ones are obviously just pictures of me in the cap and gown. I really don't like cap and gowns. They make you look weird and the hat NEVER fits right.

These next ones are of Steph and I being dorks like we are... having fun with the thought of us both being Devils this fall. I think it's my posture, I'll have to work on that, but man I look like I have a little bit of weight on me huh? Ah, good ole Crazy hair! but there you have it, the newest German Devils that are going to take ASU by storm!

So I told you I had bad, good and great news, well you've heard the bad and the good, are you ready for the GREAT?
As of last week I am now a certified personal trainer by AFAA, Aerobics and Fitness Association of America. That means I can pretty much start up my own business if I so desired, but I do not so desire. I just want to be able to put it on my resume in hopes of maybe starting at a gym and working my way up to being a personal trainer. Sure would help with the schooling huh?

Alright, so some of my plans aren't hatching out as I wish they would, but all in all this past week was amazing with my trip to Denmark included.

It sure is good to be a gypsy college kid!