Epic Moment and the Lord's retaliation

I did something this week I never thought I would; I told my mother I didn't think I could go to church anymore. I don't know what's happened I just came home one day and told her I wasn't sure if I could do it anymore.

Then I went to Frankfurt on Friday as part of a YSA fireside. I must say the manner in which I went was quite 007 like. I made sure NOBODY knew I was going outside of my mother and one other YSA. I went because it's Elder Dallin H. Oaks who wanted to speak to the YSAs of Germany; who in their right mind would say no? NOT ME! Even if I am having feelings of not going to church.

I got there and found out that not only was Elder Dallin H. Oaks going to be talking to us but also Elder Robert C. Oaks (did you know they are cousins???). Of course both were accompanied by their wives and we were so blessed to hear from both of them too.

This was just the night of Oaks' I'll tell you what. We first heard from Sis Oaks (Robert C's wife) and she shared a few thoughts and scriptures along with her testimony. Some of the thoughts shared were about the Plan of Salvation many times referred to as the Plan of Happiness. She bluntly stated that OUR plan relies on choices made by us that will determine the amount of happiness we receive in the after life. After hearing from Sis Oaks her husband, Elder Robert C. Oaks spoke to us.Elder R. Oaks is a retired four star General of the USAF. He is in our area Presidency, I do believe he is the area president, and he came to our Stake Conference a couple weeks ago too. We got to hear so many fun and entertaining stories about him from Stake Conference but also tonight. Elder Oaks began with echoing some of the thoughts his wife said, while emphasizing the fact that the Plan of Salvation would NOT be made possible without the Atoning sacrifice made by Christ.

Elder Oaks then went on to talk about Stake Conferences. As most know with Stake Conferences they usually hold new member and recently re-activated meetings after conference. Elder Oaks LOVES these meetings; he says the reason for Stake Conference is to have these new member/re-activated meetings.

Elder Oaks shared one story with us his son told him about a fast Sunday in North Carolina. During the testimony meeting a sister went up to bear her testimony and said that she was praying for Heaven and found it when the missionaries came to her and her family with the gospel.

This story caused me to pose a question on myself: IS THAT HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE GOSPEL? Do I think of the gospel as being heaven?

The next thought he shared is one that I probably needed to hear most, "The gospel has the power to give us peace, DAILY!" Through it we are able to learn how to bring Christ's character into our own life and become more like him.

The gospel has the power to change lives; but HOW has it changed MY life? And here's the better question, have I allowed it to change my life? HAS IT CHANGED MY LIFE? Or am I still living the way I WANT to as opposed to how I SHOULD be living it?

We need to develop a more personal relationship with CHRIST; it is a treasure that we should cherish and hold close to our hearts. But what is a personal relationship and how can we develop it?
-It is more than just a testimony, but it needs to be founded ON our testimony.
-We need to focus on the atoning sacrifice for YOU. The atonement was for everyone; but apply in your life and see what he did specifically for YOU. Realize that through the atonement YOU will rise from the grave someday and not be held captive in the grave.
-Study the scriptures. John, Matthew, Mark, Luke and 3 Nephi. Through all of these you can come to learn of CHRIST not only from his life and ministry to the old world; but also to the Nephites after his resurrection.
-Ponder these questions: WHAT DID CHRIST DO? WHAT IS HE LIKE? WHO IS HE? After reading and studying the scriptures we will be able to answer those questions and know more personally what he did.

The final thought Elder Robert C. Oaks left with us was that CHRIST suffered alone in Gethsemane, he suffered alone in Pilot's court and on the cross. CHRIST was alone when he was resurrected aside from two angels from heaven; the point is, he suffered ALONE so that WE don't have to.

We then heard from the other Sis Oaks (Dallin H.'s wife). Trivial information, did you know that this is Elder Oaks' second wife and Sis Oaks was not married before she married Dallin around the age of 50. She had some fantastic stories and great insight considering she was a Single Adult for quite a while. **FINALLY, AN ADULT WHO UNDERSTANDS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE SINGLE. FINALLY, AN ADULT WHO DOESN'T MAKE ALL THE YSAs FEEL LIKE DEFECTED MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH! (WELL, HER AND SHERRI DEW)**
Through her experience she found that the ONLY way to stay active in the church is to cling to the truths and basic gospel principles. It is essential to use that and service, both through callings and good deeds, to grow closer to members of the ward so we don't feel 'alienated'. I'm not sure if the states have Outreaches; but in Europe they are centers for YSAs to go and hang out, go to institute and FHE. She encourages all YSAs to go to Outreach; I have a family so I exclude myself from FHE.

She then expressed her desire for us to understand that having feelings of loneliness and wanting something more as far as a family is concerned is NORMAL! She actually told us to RESPECT those feelings and emotions; use them to turn back to the Lord. Go to him in prayer to help you understand these feelings and do what is needed in order to move on and continue progressing with our lives.

The next list of thoughts is what we need to do WHILE being Single.
-Have a CURRENT temple recommend and stay worthy to carry one to any temple in the world.
-Be not judgemental; being judgemental before you are married will only cause you to be judgemental after you are married and that causes for unhealthy relationships.
-Strive to do service; when you are single it's harder to do service because you are distant from other members of the church and you don't have a significant other living with you that you can easily do service for.
-Be grateful; if you find yourself concentrating on your blessings you will find more everyday.
-Know AND follow religion. It is one thing to know what you believe but another to acutally live it and to do it all the time when you think nobody is watching.
-Pay your tithing. If you ever want to go innactive in the church just stop paying your tithing.
-Just get UP and GO to CHURCH! It may be difficult but in the end it's up to you whether or not you go to church and if you decide it is important for you to go to church then just go!
-RESPECT YOUR TIME BEING SINGLE. Sis Oaks said, "If you are living the commandments and still single the Lord wants you to be single and has a plan for you while you are single."

With that last thought this question was raised, 'WHAT IS MY MISSION WHILE I AM SINGLE?' I have my thoughts on that one, there are probably one or two things I've done while being single that I could list under this. Both of which I'm hoping is NOT the reason; but really, what can I be doing with my time of being single in order to progress myself and others before I get married?

Sis Oaks has the habit of calling Elder Oaks to the pulpit at the end of her talk whenever she travels with him on assignment. Tonight she did the same thing and publically thanked him for all he's done for her and being patient with her. He returned the favor and at the beginning of his talk he called her to the pulpit asking her to share one specific thing he really grew to love about her. He asked her to tell us what she told him as to why she religiously went to the temple when she was single. She said that as a woman in the church and not having a father a member of the church (she's a convert) she needed to go to church and the temple in order to have that preisthood presence in her life in case she ever needed anything.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks was then left with 30 mins to talk, he spent the first twenty of it telling stories which we all loved! He really is a funny man and probably laughs more at his stories than the congregation as a whole did.

Elder Oaks' message was short and simple, 'Every member must learn HOLY HABITS AND RIGHTEOUS ROUTINES'. But what are these things and how can we develop them?

HOLY HABITS: Things that EVERY member should do; i.e. prayer, scripture study, regular church attendance and worthily partaking of the sacrament every week.

RIGHTEOUS ROUTINES: Things you need to do on a more personal level in order to avoid temptations. Members need to learn what is a temptation to them and find ways to stay away from things and places that might tempt you to cross that line and break the commandments. Every person has a different trial in their life which is why this is a personal aspect.

WHAT RIGHTEOUS ROUTINES DO I NEED TO MAKE IT THROUGH THIS LIFE AND INTO THE NEXT?

His final thought, and the final thought of the evening, to the YSAs was D&C 38:42.
-Go ye out from among the wicked; avoid those that tempt you to do those things unbecoming of a member of the church.
-Save yourself; don't be stupid and put yourself in situations that you KNOW could possibly lead you to breaking the RIGHTEOUS ROUTINES you have mapped out for yourself.
-Be ye clean; mainly morally. The final thought he shared was that we need to be clean in order to carry the vessels of the Lord. He put a different spin on this for all of us in saying that the men of the church need to be morally clean in order to carry the vessels we use for sacrament. Women do not have the priesthood power but instead we play a vital part in this life that through us we bring about children to the world. We carry those vessels that allow spirits to come and inhabit the earth. Just like men though women need to remain morally clean so that this only happens in the eternal bonds of marriage.

Where I go from here as far as church is concerned I'm not sure. I'm positive I'll continue to go to church and do what is expected of me, but I'm really hoping that these trials of showing up will go away. I guess I have to work on that whole not being judgemental thing so that I will stop thinking everyone is judging me.

The night of listening to the Oaks' was amazing. If Europe provides anything it is the privilege of hearing from General Authorities more often than most places I'm sure. Being a YSA in the states is one thing, but being a YSA in Europe seems to put you up on a higher platform in the sense of trying to build the church's younger population.

Planning Last Few Months

Ah, Western Europe, my home for the past 3 years; how I've had a love hate relationship! It's been my goal ever since I got here to see the majority of the countries (not including the Baltic countries or the like of those).

The map above shows which countries I've been to highlighted in green, the countries I have plans to go to in the pale orange and all the others in blue.

It's been a decent run I would say. I didn't get all the countries like I wanted, Greece, Switzerland, Ireland etc. but if you ask me for a working full time college kid I would say that's not bad. I've got my tickets for England already Scotland I'm still working out the kinks but my office gave me 175 Euro of ryan air fare that expires in Sept so I figure I need to use it right??? RIGHT! Lets see how many countries I can hit up in the last few months!

In a Reflective Mood

So many things on my mind right now it's crazy!

This weekend I'm enrolled in a class that HOPEFULLY will get me certified as a personal trainer. This is actually good for a few reasons I think; 1-Give me an insight to the job I'll potentially be working at after my degree. 2-More training in my field of study. 3-I might actually be able to transfer this training over to my degree and have less courses to take when I get back to ASU.

As I struggled sitting through class today (it was a 10 hour day) my mind couldn't help but to bounce all over the place. I reflected on a lot of things that I didn't even realize I was having thoughts about. I think I wrote more down on those subjects than what I wrote down as notes for this class.

About half way through writing what I was thinking I found myself shocked at some of the things I was writing. A little hostile at some of the things that have been expressed, not exactly to me but rather about my situation and it makes me mad. I'm grateful for those who have tenderly approached me about things and for the MOST part I do NOT take offense.

After all of this I realized one more thing, maybe I have a pride issue. Don't tell my father I said that; he might die of a heart attack.

**This blog was just to vent; it's not aimed towards anyone so I'm really hoping I don't get comments from people apologizing. I'm an upfront person. If I thanked you for your comments I meant it.**

Another HUGE Step in my Life

Man, I've blogged more these past two months than I think I did the entirety of last YEAR.

Last night I did something I didn't think I would ever do, accomplished another goal I had set for myself for some time and am now feeling so relieved; I finished my final course to get my German Degree!!
Alright, so it's only an AA but this is a huge weight off of my shoulders because it means when I go back to ASU they have to take me in as at least a Junior. There have been some rumors around here that UMUC credits don't always transfer to schools back in the states and the only way to guarantee they do is to have a degree. That takes care of all my lower class course work; Halle-freakin-lujah!

I now just have to sit on edge until I find out what grade I get, but as long as it's a C I get my degree and I'm pretty sure I've done that. I got an A on my final and As and Bs on all my assignments thus far. I'm pulling for a low A high B. Then the transcripts will be sent to ASU and they get to decide what courses I have to finish for my BS! I'm hoping to be out by Dec 2010, but it might not be until May 2011; either way it's all in sights!

Yep, I'm excited.

Sun Devil Once Again

I don't think there is ANYONE who has applied to a single school more than I've applied to ASU. I think I'm up to four now and I've only gone there one year. Honestly, I don't know what compels me to apply when I have little intention of going back to school but this time there is no stopping me. I'm a SUN DEVIL JERRY, and I'm staying a Devil until I finish (which hopefully will be NLT May 2011).
I applied last year and the week before I was planning to head out things went south and it just didn't feel right to be heading back to school just yet; so here I stayed. Three months later I was thinking about school again. I was offered a good job with the Air Force here and deciding that I wanted to save money for school once again here I stayed.

This past year has had more ups and downs than I would have liked. There have been trials upon trials here followed by a long period of sadness and regrets that I am finding myself struggling to get out of. This is good though, I need to get on with my life and starting a new chapter, the only sad part is I'm not leaving soon enough.

The year hasn't been completely bad. I've enjoyed most of it and people I've met along the way as well as certain ones I've grown closer to. This year has been a good one. Would I take it back? No. Would I do things differently? Yes. Life has its trials but we all live and hopefully learn from it.

ASU here I come!

Adding to the Obsession

So I was once told that I have an obsession and it's not really a bad one in my eyes, but some people find it wrong that I collect Tiggers. Yes, we're talking about the Disney character all orange and striped, bouncy, trouncy, pouncy, flouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is I have more than 60 of the stuffed guys!
I've also been told I'm really hard to shop for so when all else fails people just get me tiggers. As you can see from the picture above though the hardest thing to do is find one that I DON'T have. This year the hard task was done, TWICE!
The first one was given to me by my mother for Christmas. As you can probably see it even came complete with the typical ugly holiday sweater. HAHA! He is fun and cute and again, one I didn't have yet so he was accepted into the 'pack'.
The other two were given to me all at once from Barney. Such a sweety isn't he? Like everyone else he wanted to make sure I didn't get duplicate of any of the Tiggers. He did well with the two he got me.
The bigger one is seriously like 24 inches! I have a couple of other 24 inchers, but this one is different with texture and coloring is a bit different. He is soft and way cute!
The second one is probably one of my favorites! It's a 'thief' Tigger! He's all decked out in a mask and even has the striped shirt typical of criminals to be depicted in. The heart he is holding says, "You stole my heart" I thought it was cute! And for someone who really doesn't like Valentines like I do I actually really enjoyed this.
So once again my collection has grown and I've enjoyed watching it grow. So I'm 21 and have an obsession with an animated character. But at least I've outgrown the Tigger sheets ;)

Disney Classics

So who doesn't enjoy a Disney Classic, HONESTLY! For the past few months I've started building up my movie collection of both good newly released movies as well as Classic movies I grew up with.


Today's movie, I'm at home sick, is Pocahontas. When this movie first came out I LOVED it. I was like 8 but even now I still enjoy it. Animated Disney movies cannot be rivaled and this is one of those. I watched something about this movie once and was told that there was a song taken out between John Smith and Pocahontas when he was being held captive after Kocoum was killed; now with the movie on DVD the song is reinstalled and like it was never taken out. Then at the end they add another snippet from the same song and it's like it's a BRAND NEW MOVIE!

So I'm 21 and still watching movies that I watched when I was 8. But so what? I figure I'll at least be an aunt someday and will need movies that won't degrade the kids' minds so I can be the cool aunt Sara right? RIGHT!