Thoughts on Marriage...

So after last weeks lesson I was talking with a fellow YSA while on my Dublin trip about marriage and what I thought about it. He has a strong desire TO be married. My desire, not so strong. He has always wanted to be married quickly and to start that family. Me, not so much.
We both agreed on one thing though. The immense need for love BEFORE the wedding.

I'm a huge skeptic of the whole 'love' thing which is why I know before I ever say yes while dressed in white I have to be completely in love with the guy. Not in lust, not thinking I love the guy, but totally and completely in love.

I want to be that couple that ten years after being married we are still making out in the park. I want to walk hand-in-hand down the halls of the church, in the stores, in the car. EVERYWHERE I want his hand in mine.

I don't want to feel that I have to get married which causes for rash decisions to be made. I want the world to know that I love the man I marry and I don't want to have to tell them. I want them to know just by looking at us. I want to console him in everyday choices that could affect either of us and I don't want to feel that I can't go to him about anything.

I want to talk to him everyday; even if his job takes him away from home I want to have at least an email sitting in my inbox or his waiting for the other to read it. I want to have no doubt in my mind that it's me he talks to about the serious things. I want to spend nights cooking dinner together and maybe it takes a little longer because we get lost in conversation about how the day was. Then I want to spend time after dinner talking for hours or just being held in each others arms not saying a word because of how comfortable we are with the silence.

I want him to know all of my secrets and my feelings. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not an easy nut to crack and it takes about 10 months before I even tell you my middle initial. It'll take a few years before you find out my birthday though.

I want to be so comfortable with the guy that I can allow myself to cry in front of him; I want him to be comfortable enough with me to allow me to cry until I'm ready to talk about what is driving me to tears.

Yeah, marriage is still a ways off; if you want to come you might have to find me in the afterlife. I don't want anyone freaking out about me posting this... DAD, MOM, TAWNI! I just figured with my lesson last week and the conversation this week I might have reason to post this blog. There are reasons as to why I'm not yet married and perfectly happy with that. I'm sure the Lord knew what he was getting into when I came to this earth and my stubborness of having to make CERTAIN it's the one I want to spend eternity with. Perhaps it is why he is allowing me to be blessed with health for so long; he doesn't want me to come back to heaven single. Could you imagine a single Sara in Heaven? Oh goodness!