I have so much going on right now it's crazy, I can't even fathom it at times. I've been stuck thinking about selfish tendencies for a while, that this is what this blog is about.
Imagine if you could that you have the ability to be happy with a job, you make good money, you are supported in your life; you are happy.
Now, you happened to come into a HUGE bonus that you were not expecting to get and you knew of someone who needed or could use that money more than you. You want to help them and see that you don't need the money right now, so you give it to them; then you loose your job and your ability to make money.
Selfish feelings come back to ask for all of that money back, you just want what is 'rightfully' yours, since you no longer have the ability to do that any more you should be allowed to ask for it back right?
But this person you gave it to has already used the majority of the money, they have started to essentially grow because of it; it would be wrong to ask for it back. But you still have a little time before it will disappear from you completely. What do you do?Again, you've lost the ability to make money and some day you may not be able to even make that money you once did to support your family or to live comfortably. What do you do?
If you can imagine what that is like and then multiply it by 20, that's where I'm at; yeah, I need some serious therapy.
2 comments:
You are a very generous and compassionate person! That was so thoughtful of you to give what you didn't need to someone who did. You saw an opportunity and you took it head on, no questions asked! You are also a very intelligent person and I know you wouldn't have made this decision without knowing it would come with risks. You mentioned that the person has grown, and as difficult as the what you are facing now is, that person is doing better and that was the whole point wasn't it? Maybe a new opportunity will come to you with your change in situation. I wish you all the BEST, girlfriend!!
Is this a analogy or a real scenerio? Either way, I think that if you felt impressed to give something away in the beginning then it must have been right. If it is gone then it is about grieving and letting go with love and try not to dwell on it because it will keep you stuck and if you grow resentful then it will hold you back further. You will have the chance to earn more, I really believe it! It is hard to see the bigger picture of things but someday you will understand it. (I know that sucks to hear) At different times of my life I ended up regretting some decisions I made but I learned that the more I obsessed over it (especially when it was a done deal) it was a way I made myself miserable because in some way I thought I needed to suffer for what I did--I MADE myself suffer thinking if I learned my lesson I would never go down that road again. And I didn't but I made other mistakes. They say remember the lesson but forget the mistake. I could say a lot more but I am rambling. If you ever want a friend-therapist I am totally FREE!
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