Then I went to Frankfurt on Friday as part of a YSA fireside. I must say the manner in which I went was quite 007 like. I made sure NOBODY knew I was going outside of my mother and one other YSA. I went because it's Elder Dallin H. Oaks who wanted to speak to the YSAs of Germany; who in their right mind would say no? NOT ME! Even if I am having feelings of not going to church.
I got there and found out that not only was Elder Dallin H. Oaks going to be talking to us but also Elder Robert C. Oaks (did you know they are cousins???). Of course both were accompanied by their wives and we were so blessed to hear from both of them too.
This was just the night of Oaks' I'll tell you what. We first heard from Sis Oaks (Robert C's wife) and she shared a few thoughts and scriptures along with her testimony. Some of the thoughts shared were about the Plan of Salvation many times referred to as the Plan of Happiness. She bluntly stated that OUR plan relies on choices made by us that will determine the amount of happiness we receive in the after life. After hearing from Sis Oaks her husband, Elder Robert C. Oaks spoke to us.
Elder R. Oaks is a retired four star General of the USAF. He is in our area Presidency, I do believe he is the area president, and he came to our Stake Conference a couple weeks ago too. We got to hear so many fun and entertaining stories about him from Stake Conference but also tonight. 
Elder Oaks began with echoing some of the thoughts his wife said, while emphasizing the fact that the Plan of Salvation would NOT be made possible without the Atoning sacrifice made by Christ.Elder Oaks then went on to talk about Stake Conferences. As most know with Stake Conferences they usually hold new member and recently re-activated meetings after conference. Elder Oaks LOVES these meetings; he says the reason for Stake Conference is to have these new member/re-activated meetings.
Elder Oaks shared one story with us his son told him about a fast Sunday in North Carolina. During the testimony meeting a sister went up to bear her testimony and said that she was praying for Heaven and found it when the missionaries came to her and her family with the gospel.
This story caused me to pose a question on myself: IS THAT HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE GOSPEL? Do I think of the gospel as being heaven?
The next thought he shared is one that I probably needed to hear most, "The gospel has the power to give us peace, DAILY!" Through it we are able to learn how to bring Christ's character into our own life and become more like him.
The gospel has the power to change lives; but HOW has it changed MY life? And here's the better question, have I allowed it to change my life? HAS IT CHANGED MY LIFE? Or am I still living the way I WANT to as opposed to how I SHOULD be living it?
We need to develop a more personal relationship with CHRIST; it is a treasure that we should cherish and hold close to our hearts. But what is a personal relationship and how can we develop it?
-It is more than just a testimony, but it needs to be founded ON our testimony.
-We need to focus on the atoning sacrifice for YOU. The atonement was for everyone; but apply in your life and see what he did specifically for YOU. Realize that through the atonement YOU will rise from the grave someday and not be held captive in the grave.
-Study the scriptures. John, Matthew, Mark, Luke and 3 Nephi. Through all of these you can come to learn of CHRIST not only from his life and ministry to the old world; but also to the Nephites after his resurrection.
-Ponder these questions: WHAT DID CHRIST DO? WHAT IS HE LIKE? WHO IS HE? After reading and studying the scriptures we will be able to answer those questions and know more personally what he did.
The final thought Elder Robert C. Oaks left with us was that CHRIST suffered alone in Gethsemane, he suffered alone in Pilot's court and on the cross. CHRIST was alone when he was resurrected aside from two angels from heaven; the point is, he suffered ALONE so that WE don't have to.
We then heard from the other Sis Oaks (Dallin H.'s wife). Trivial information, did you know that this is Elder Oaks' second wife and Sis Oaks was not married before she married Dallin around the age of 50. She had some fantastic stories and great insight considering she was a Single Adult for quite a while. **FINALLY, AN ADULT WHO UNDERSTANDS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE SINGLE. FINALLY, AN ADULT WHO DOESN'T MAKE ALL THE YSAs FEEL LIKE DEFECTED MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH! (WELL, HER AND SHERRI DEW)**
Through her experience she found that the ONLY way to stay active in the church is to cling to the truths and basic gospel principles. It is essential to use that and service, both through callings and good deeds, to grow closer to members of the ward so we don't feel 'alienated'. I'm not sure if the states have Outreaches; but in Europe they are centers for YSAs to go and hang out, go to institute and FHE. She encourages all YSAs to go to Outreach; I have a family so I exclude myself from FHE.She then expressed her desire for us to understand that having feelings of loneliness and wanting something more as far as a family is concerned is NORMAL! She actually told us to RESPECT those feelings and emotions; use them to turn back to the Lord. Go to him in prayer to help you understand these feelings and do what is needed in order to move on and continue progressing with our lives.
The next list of thoughts is what we need to do WHILE being Single.
-Have a CURRENT temple recommend and stay worthy to carry one to any temple in the world.
-Be not judgemental; being judgemental before you are married will only cause you to be judgemental after you are married and that causes for unhealthy relationships.
-Strive to do service; when you are single it's harder to do service because you are distant from other members of the church and you don't have a significant other living with you that you can easily do service for.
-Be grateful; if you find yourself concentrating on your blessings you will find more everyday.
-Know AND follow religion. It is one thing to know what you believe but another to acutally live it and to do it all the time when you think nobody is watching.
-Pay your tithing. If you ever want to go innactive in the church just stop paying your tithing.
-Just get UP and GO to CHURCH! It may be difficult but in the end it's up to you whether or not you go to church and if you decide it is important for you to go to church then just go!
-RESPECT YOUR TIME BEING SINGLE. Sis Oaks said, "If you are living the commandments and still single the Lord wants you to be single and has a plan for you while you are single."
With that last thought this question was raised, 'WHAT IS MY MISSION WHILE I AM SINGLE?' I have my thoughts on that one, there are probably one or two things I've done while being single that I could list under this. Both of which I'm hoping is NOT the reason; but really, what can I be doing with my time of being single in order to progress myself and others before I get married?
Sis Oaks has the habit of calling Elder Oaks to the pulpit at the end of her talk whenever she travels with him on assignment. Tonight she did the same thing and publically thanked him for all he's done for her and being patient with her. He returned the favor and at the beginning of his talk he called her to the pulpit asking her to share one specific thing he really grew to love about her. He asked her to tell us what she told him as to why she religiously went to the temple when she was single. She said that as a woman in the church and not having a father a member of the church (she's a convert) she needed to go to church and the temple in order to have that preisthood presence in her life in case she ever needed anything.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks was then left with 30 mins to talk, he spent the first twenty of it telling stories which we all loved! He really is a funny man and probably laughs more at his stories than the congregation as a whole did.Elder Oaks' message was short and simple, 'Every member must learn HOLY HABITS AND RIGHTEOUS ROUTINES'. But what are these things and how can we develop them?
HOLY HABITS: Things that EVERY member should do; i.e. prayer, scripture study, regular church attendance and worthily partaking of the sacrament every week.
RIGHTEOUS ROUTINES: Things you need to do on a more personal level in order to avoid temptations. Members need to learn what is a temptation to them and find ways to stay away from things and places that might tempt you to cross that line and break the commandments. Every person has a different trial in their life which is why this is a personal aspect.
WHAT RIGHTEOUS ROUTINES DO I NEED TO MAKE IT THROUGH THIS LIFE AND INTO THE NEXT?
His final thought, and the final thought of the evening, to the YSAs was D&C 38:42.
-Go ye out from among the wicked; avoid those that tempt you to do those things unbecoming of a member of the church.
-Save yourself; don't be stupid and put yourself in situations that you KNOW could possibly lead you to breaking the RIGHTEOUS ROUTINES you have mapped out for yourself.
-Be ye clean; mainly morally. The final thought he shared was that we need to be clean in order to carry the vessels of the Lord. He put a different spin on this for all of us in saying that the men of the church need to be morally clean in order to carry the vessels we use for sacrament. Women do not have the priesthood power but instead we play a vital part in this life that through us we bring about children to the world. We carry those vessels that allow spirits to come and inhabit the earth. Just like men though women need to remain morally clean so that this only happens in the eternal bonds of marriage.
Where I go from here as far as church is concerned I'm not sure. I'm positive I'll continue to go to church and do what is expected of me, but I'm really hoping that these trials of showing up will go away. I guess I have to work on that whole not being judgemental thing so that I will stop thinking everyone is judging me.
The night of listening to the Oaks' was amazing. If Europe provides anything it is the privilege of hearing from General Authorities more often than most places I'm sure. Being a YSA in the states is one thing, but being a YSA in Europe seems to put you up on a higher platform in the sense of trying to build the church's younger population.
3 comments:
Sara, thanks for that! We've had talks before about how hard church is for me as well. My kids drag me to church, not vice versa. And you should know that as I'm walking in with a level of anxiety I can't explain (isn't church supposed to be peaceful) I always find myself looking for a full row of Ray's. Then the peace comes . . .
Hi Sara. Thanks for sharing the ideas and insights that were given at the YSA conference. I am so glad there are people like Sis. Oaks and Sheri Dew too. I didn't get married to Landon until I was 28 (yes, he's younger than I am). So I understand the feelings of being a single adult in the church.
As for not wanting to go to church, I felt that same way about 10 years ago. I was 23 and still in college. I had been engaged to a guy I had dated for about a year when we had to break of the engagement for reasons I won't get into here. I was depressed at the loss of someone I loved and too humiliated to face my ward members and their possible looks and questions. I had a roommate who dragged me to church. I'm glad she did. She helped me do something I was not strong enough to do on my own.
You know what would be great? If you were to help us out in nursery. It's the fastest two hours in church and the kids are the best! We just divided into three rooms and someone just got released, so we could use the help! You'd be needed in Sister Blan or Sister Jorgensen's room. Let us know because we really do need someone to help us out!
That was a wonderful post--The lOrd is working through you for ME! I feel disconnected a bit now that I am not in RS (even though I LOVE teaching primary--your brother is endearing!)I am glad you took all the time to attend and write that long post because it reminded me of things I needed to hear. I was 37 when I got married and struggled at different times with the purpose of being single. I remember a talk once that said during our life we will be tested in areas like Christ was to prove our faithfulness. In the talk they gourped the temptations that Christ had from Satan during his 40 days of fasting. It really hit home to me and I think one of them is being true and faithful...especially when we don't feel like it! There was a time when I was 26 when I was introduced to a YSA friend that was secretly apostacizing and her thoughts started to cause me to question. I remember distinctly that there came a point that I had to make the choice--to leave her friendship and stay with the church or leave the church because I didn't want to be a hypocrite. I made the decision to stay with the church. Ever since then, there have been people and situations that offend me and I knwo that no matter what, one decision is made. I stay with the gospel! I don't need to make that choice again. I picked the side I am on. I have struggles in attending our ward (feeling like I don't belong...) but I just keep going because I know in the end things will work out and I will feel better. When I feel people are being judgemental or gossipy then I distance myself and put a bit of that barrier up too (like your wall in your next post) just to protect myself. I remember the wall is NOT permament, just to temporarily protect me while I feel vulnerable. After a while I feel I can handle people and their "humaness" and go on. I continually am learning about not judging--so many times when I feel judged it helps to teach me not to do that to others.
Post a Comment